Using “War Stories” to Motivate Recovery

As addicts struggle with withdrawal, both physically and psychologically, they are overcome with doubts and a longing for just one last “hoorah”.

The beast is powerful and continues to pull at them, threatening to cause relapse. A key element in any addiction recovery program is relapse prevention

The very nature of this disease was summed up by an addict who said, “Quitting is actually easy – it’s staying quit that’s hard!”

This is the reason why many sponsors try to entrench the addict’s reasons for quitting very early in the program.This is an important area that addicts needs to explore on this part of their journey of self-discovery.

My Worst Days

One of the very powerful tools that addicts can add to their “Relapse Prevention Toolbox” is a clear memory of why they quit in the first place.

Addicts need to explore their worst memories when using. This is done by asking them to write “essays” in which they write down their worst days and experiences. Addicts re-live feelings that occurred on their “worst days” and the sponsor plays those feelings back to the addicts if they start to “wobble” in their resolve due to cravings.

The feelings of revulsion, bitter self-recrimination and self-loathing which were experienced and expressed become a powerful tool in reminding addicts just why they quit.

A major roadblock that has to be overcome is the tendency to express facts instead of feelings. Addicts are used to feeling “numb” because it helps on avoiding painful issues about the unpleasant things they have done and the pain they’ve caused. It’s the sponsor’s job to keep re-directing addicts towards feelings rather than facts.

“Using a writing pad, write a description of your very worst days during your addiction. Describe, in detail your actual activities.Comment about how you feel today about each incident. Why do you have these feelings?”

“Using a writing pad, describe the 3 worst things, in your opinion, that you have done because of your addiction. Describe how you feel about what you did.”

“List all the people that you know who have suffered as a result of your addiction. Next to each name, describe what happened to them. Be honest and give specific examples.”

These essays force addicts to confront their actions and the results thereof. Often, in early recovery, addicts will minimize their culpability and often even lie. The sponsor has to confront addicts, whose “denial system” kick-in in an effort to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

If sponsors feel that addicts are still too “raw” to expose themselves, they should accept the little they get but set that exercise aside to be re-done in a few weeks or months time.

Spiritual Lessons

Spirituality can be defined as inner feelings addicts have about themselves, and how they see their role in life. This may include drawing closer to some “religious” center deep within but it has more to do with one’s self-value and inner serenity. Freeing one’s feelings and releasing pain are the key to spiritual serenity.

I believe in encouraging addicts to find self-forgiveness. It is also a good time to prepare them for the need to “make amends” at some time down the road to those that this exercise has identified as the addict’s “victims”.

The addicts need to see that: “I have to fix the damage” and “I have to stop myself from doing these things again.”